Year after year this question inevitably arises: What is your New Year's Resolution? Year after year I am required to explain that I made a resolution in the 5th Grade never to make another New Year's Resolution. Genius really. It takes off all the pressure of making or keeping one. The less savvy among us are forced to come up with something each year, a something that they will usually not be able to live up to. So my savvy (possibly cheating self) is here to help you out. Here are some New Year's resolutions are your sure to keep.
- Be mediocre
- Practice some hardcore slothfulness
- Not to commit murder (if you are in fact a murderer, simply add the word, again to the end of the statement)
- Eat something
- Sleep at least one hour a night
- Avoid water fowl
- Run, to the bathroom daily (say that last part really quickly so no one notices)
- Eat, Prey, Shove
If these do not give you the much needed easy to achieve New Year's Resolution, might I suggest that Make No More Resolution Resolution thing.
1 comments:
I resolve not to commit murder... *whispers* again..
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