How to be Frumpy: The Clothing Edition

Yes, that is Frumpy with a capitol F, bitches and I am bringing it BACK!!

I realise that some of you may not know how to be Frumpy and if I am going to bring Frumpy back I need to teach the masses how to be Frumpy. First things first, clothing that actually fits has to go. If you want to be Frumpy you need to look like a grunge rocker who has lost 20lbs. I achieved this part of the Frumpy look by losing 26 lbs and being too broke to buy a whole new wardrobe. You can do it this way or you can just go buy bigger clothing. Either way, in order to be a Frumpy one must never look polished and put together.

In addition to the overall size of ones clothing, in order to be Frumpy it helps to wear clothing that is not best suited for your sex. This is to say, raid your husbands closet to get that great Frumpy look. For the dads/men out there I am not sure that raiding your wife's closet will meet the Frumpy criteria, a man in large woman's clothing is another look all together and while I have no issue with that per say, I just do not feel qualified to offer advice on the topic. In addition to the fine array to over sized clothing one can find in your Hubbers closet you might also be able to find an assortment of mismatched tube socks. This will help to finish off your best Frumpy looks. More on this in the accessory addition to come later.

While on the topic of mismatching, in order to really get that great Frumpy look one must try and mismatch whenever possible. Different shades of the same color is always a way to achieve this look. Think this years black yoga pants with a 5 year old black t-shirt. There is no way in hell that those two are still the same shade of black, so voila mismatch made, outfit complete. In addition one may also match a set of shocking colors together. Think green and yellow! Not even the CEO of Nike can make that shit look good and neither can you. Green and yellow, orange and red, purple and hot pink.... the possibilities for Frumpiness are endless.

In summary, one can achieve the Frump look by simply ignoring all good taste and simply chosing what is most comfortable. I hope you enoyed this first lesson and that you are well on your way to comfort-land, population 1.