Shit My Mom Says

The following is from a recent telephone conversation with my mother.

Momma: So, what are you watching on TV lately?

Me: I don't know. Let's see. Mad Men, Rubicon.

Momma: Oh, you watch those. Well, we know we don't have HBO anymore.

Me: Mmm, yeah. Well, they are on AM......

Momma: Whatever. What else are you watching? Is Rubicon any good?

Me: What? Em, Rubicon is good, I guess.

Momma: What ELSE are you watching? ( at this point I am getting nervous)

Me: Mmmm, the Closer, Rizzoli and Isles

Momma: The CLOSER. You know I don't watch that show. Don't you.

Me: Yeah, I know.

Momma: Do you know why? Do YOU?

Me: Yes (insert sigh of resignation here).

Momma: Don't sigh like that. I don't watch that show because they killed the cat! The Cat, Amy. The CAT.

Me: I know. But you told me that the actor cat died and that was why they wrote the death into the show.

Momma: What!!???!!!! Who told you that crap? That is unreal. An actor cat.

Me: Okay, maybe that is not the right phrase, but the real cat died. So they wrote the death into the story. You know, out of respect. At least that is what you told me, like two weeks ago.

Momma: Who told you that crap? Do you believe everything you hear?

Me: Momma, you told me that crap.

Momma: Me. Really? Are you sure?

Me: I am reasonable sure that I have only discussed The Closer with you.

Momma: Okay. So, what else are you watching?

Me: Nothing. The TV stopped working.

Glimpses into Madness

Here is a look at some of my notes from Bloggy Boot Camp(told you, like a dead horse). Please do not let these notes symbolize anything other than the ravings of a lunatic who probably needs a mega dose of adderall.

'She didn't land on the page, the page landed on her."

Plinky: "A good name for a monkey butler"

This gem was found following a Sylvia Plath quote: "and then she put her head in the oven."

Fish? Not a Fish?: A Hit New Game Show from the Creators of Minute to Win It.

Sounds dirty, but isn't: "It speaks to our back end"

"For Cooking parents, is that a site for patricidal cannibals?"

"Time for Penis Flower"

Penis Flowers

BART Plan 2b OR Not 2b

To recap, on Wednesday I posted something about a planned extension of our local rapid transit into my town. Initially this BART extension was to be on the highway running through our town, as it is in the neighboring town of Pleasanton. In resent month my city council and BART managers have chosen a very different path for this rapid transit extension. They now propose to move it through and under our town. This will effect countless people and businesses. More than 81 homes and business will be potentially be condemned for this project, which will place a subway and train station through a city of only 85,000 people. There was meeting held on Thursday night for those living in the effected corridor to come and ask questions of city official and BART managers. This plan is know as the BART extension to Livermore, Plan 2B

I was able to attend this meeting and I learned several things. Number one, Casa de la Mom will not be condemned by the government. Number two, the decision to go with this Plan 2B extension, has been made and the city wants me to bend over and take it. Number three, the people in the areas most affected by this issue are really, really pissed off.

We were told up front that at this time none of the houses in our neighborhood would be affected, however no one could assure us that this would be the case at a later date. Essentially there was little that we could be assured of at this early stage of this process other than the fact that this IS the plan that our City Council and BART managers want. Much was made of the impact of putting this extension on our highway might have on animal life, and little if no thought has been put into the impact on human life. This saddens me more than words can say.

Previously meetings were held to discuss these options, however these meeting were very poorly communicated to the citizenry, they were held near holidays and they seem to have been held in areas less effected by the Plan 2B option. In all fairness I have to say that I learned of this process and chose not to attend the earlier meetings, because I never thought that any government entity dealing with the current economic crisis would chose a nearly 4 billion dollar project over an almost 1.5 billion dollar project (these are today's dollars). I was obviously wrong and for this I am very sorry. I should not have placed any such trust in my elected officials.

I would like to now help to better inform the citizens of Livermore as to the effects of this project. If you live in the area near the airport, Portola Ave or Junction Ave, be prepared for your roads to be dug up, and for rail tunnels and rail lines to placed under these roads. Your roads and commutes will be jacked up for years! If you live in or very close to downtown Livermore, you will have deal with the train re-emerging at an existing ACE train station. You will also have to deal with an additional 1500 plus multi-story housing units to be placed on already cramped land. If you live in low income apartment complexes in this area, well, it was nice knowing you. Your homes are gone and you most likely will not be able to afford to live in the new housing. If you live in the Patterson Pass area your home will at the very least be smack dab on a rail line. I fear if you live too close, your home will be gone. Also keep in mind that if you live in any of these areas, you must disclose these fact to any potential buyers should you chose to sell your home. These buyers will not walk away, they will RUN away from your property.

Now to those who do not live in these areas, let me spell things out for you. A major transportation hub will be going into our downtown area. This will be within walking distance of movie theaters, our performing arts theater and several schools. Please keep in mind that our precious little 2, 3, and 5 year olds will soon be 7, 8, and 10 years by the time this construction might be starting (the more the delay the older they will be). They are going to be wanting to use this downtown area more and more. While they might be able to use this subway station as a hopping off point to go other places, it will also be used as a coming in point for drug dealers and predators. Additionally you can kiss goodbye that parking structure that was built for the new movie theater for weekday use by Livermore residents. It will be in use by the BART riders, most of whom live in the area to our East.

You see, we will all potentially be impacted by this. However, if we leave BART on the highway as it is in Pleasanton, we will alleviate some if not all of these concerns. This plan is done and there seems to be not that much that we can do about it, except voice our opinions. Here is a list of the city council members here in Livermore.

Mayor
Marshal Kamena Term expires 2011
(925) 960-4020
mayor@ci.livermore.ca.us

Vice Mayor
Doug Horner, Term expires 2013
(925)980-2655
jdhorner@ci.livermore.ca.us

City Councile Members
Marj Leider, Term expires 2011
(925)447-4502
mrleider@ci.livermore.ca.us

John Marchand, Term expires 2013
(925)487-5283
jpmarchand@ci.livermore.ca.us

Jeff Williams, Term expires 2011
(925)455-5575
jdwilliams@ci.livermore.ca.us

Address:
Council Chambers
3575 Pacific Avenue
Livermore, CA 94550

These individuals voted unanimously to move this rail line through our downtown and into our neighborhoods. They did so without regard to the safety of our children, our homes and our community. I would strongly recommend you contact them via email, phone and their address at city hall and I would suggest that you do so often. We need to send a message that WE ARE LIVERMORE. WE ARE PISSED. AND WE VOTE!!!!!

Please see my post from Wednesday for additional information on this plan. The previous post includes links. If you follow me on twitter(@TheMomv2) and hope you do, I starting the hashtags, #WeAreLivermore and #KeepBARTontheHWY as a way to follow the Twitter line of communication.

I am not done and this is far from over. I am well educated, pissed off and most importantly I have little to do but deal with this mess. I will devote much energy to this. This affects the future health and well being of my children. You have seen anything yet, until you have seen this Momma Bear protecting her cubs.

Update: Here is a link to the TV news coverage from last nights meeting. Please note these are humans being effect by this. The Fish and Game are oddly silent. http://www.ktvu.com/news/24779373/detail.html

Livermore BART extension

I don't often comment about local stuff here on my blog, but I feel duty bound to mention the following meeting. Tomorrow night, Thursday, August 26th at 6:30pm there will be a meeting at our City Council Chambers to discuss the BART Plan 2B extension. BART officials will also be on hand to answer your questions. This meeting is to specially address questions of those residence in the affected corridor whose homes may be demolished to make way for this extension.

For those unfamiliar with this situation let me give you some background. BART is out local rapid transit and in our neighboring town it runs along the median of a highway with stations and parking on either side of the highway. Originally when I moved to Livermore and purchased a home here the plan was to have BART extend along the same stretch of highway. Now our City Council and BART officials have decided to take the extension from the highway(at the soon to be new Isabel Exit), tunnel underground through our city(Portola, and Junction), come back above ground at the downtown ACE station(behind the parking garage at Livermore and First Street) and continue down the existing Union Pacific Line to the Vasco ACE station. There will also be a train yard near the Vasco station.

What is not immediately evident with this plan is impact of long term construction, tunnel construction, and 81 plus homes and businesses which will be destroyed to make way for this plan. In addition those of us far enough away to avoid condemnation will be too close to the tracks to EVER sell our homes for anything close to what they were once worth. Furthermore, there is no money for this plan, and it will probably be 10 to 15 years before their is enough money for this plan (the original plan was billions of dollars cheaper). During the 10 to 15 years if you as a homeowner in the effected corridor wants to sell you home, you will have to disclose this plan. I think it is safe to assume that at that point, only BART will want to purchase your home.

This plan does not just effect those of us who live near the Vasco ACE station. It also effects those who live in and around Portola and Junction as there will be construction on and under these streets for 6 plus years. Then their will be trains running under these streets as often as every 10 minutes on weekdays until 1:30am. Also we can kiss the free parking at Livermore and First good bye during the week as this structure will be used for commuters getting on BART at that station.

Please check out the following links for additional information.

Livermore BART.org~ See top ten reasons to put BART on the highway
http://www.livermoretobart.org/

City of Livermore~ BART to Rail planning~including map of approved BART route
http://www.ci.livermore.ca.us/eng/eng_BART.html

BART to Livermore~Environmental Impact Report
http://barttolivermore.org/

Transbay Blog~Blog about Transportation in the Bay Area
http://transbayblog.com/2010/07/01/bart-board-selects-alignment-for-livermore-extension/

A Word On Memes

Usually on Wednesday I entertain you with a snap shot of something from my life under the heading Wordless Wednesday. Now, I know full well that this is not something I created, but I seemed like such a damn fine idea. Everyone loves photos, especially ones of my kids and let's face, I am lazy. So taking off a day seemed like good idea, because I would not want this blog thing to over tax me, right?

Then on the BART riding home from Bloggy Boot Camp (and no, I am not dropping this topic--I am beating it like dead horse, so fuck off), I learn about Meme's from my new peep and possible minion. She tells there is a whole site for these things. That there is one for everyday of the week. I feel dirty. I feel violated. I don't mind doing something that others are doing (duh, like blogging), but wrap it in a cutesy name and I throw up a little in my mouth. Really, I did something called a Meme. Christ on a Cracker, I thought I was just being lazy and now I find out that I was being lazy and insipid. Fuck!

The worst part is that there is a whole page of these things, yet Haiku Thursday was a dismal failure. How could Haikus containing dirty words be a failure when Wardrobe Wednesday thrives? What is wrong with this world?

So no more Wordless Wednesday. I will be forced to think and do something. You know, like this. I bet you wish I had just posted a damn picture. Don't you.

Goal!

In my head the title of this post sounds just like one of those World Cup announces, so I want you to try hard to hear/read it that way. I'll wait.

Okay, moving on. As you are no doubt aware I attended the SITS Girls Bloggy Boot Camp this past weekend. One of the tasks we were asked to do was state a goal for our blog(s). To prove that I was paying attention, here are some of goals that I considered for this blog.

• Break Dan Brown's arm or maybe his clavicle. I am not really sure how a non-porn blog could do that, but I really don't like Dan Brown novels and I think someone needs to do something to stop the man. So many be could just fall over from the awesomeness of my blog and hurt himself as a result.
• Get a free Maserati
• Learn to correctly spell Maserati so as to better attract the company to my blog. Admittedly I should attempt to achieve this goal first.
• Create a Facebook Fanpage. Check it out.
• Use power of "the Blog" to crush my enemies and make them pay (insert evil laughter here).
• Share the penis flower doodle with the world.
• Get the Vice President to say, "Holy Fuck-Balls Mary". Then I want him to turn to the camera and say, "Thanks to The Mom"(and wink). Come on Joe. You know you want to do it!
• Make you all pee in your pants at least once.

An AAA Plus Bacon Recap of Bloggy Boot Camp

What? I was paying attention. You are shocked, right. You expect nothing but fart jokes from me, don't you. Well, not only did I pay attention but, I hardly farted at all. I did draw some penis flowers on my notes, but only a couple. So that is good. I was grown up and for the most part I behaved myself. For the most part.

Bloogy Boot Camp is a great one day conference. This particular BBC was held at the Westin St. Francis on the 32nd Floor. Getting there for me involved a car ride, a BART ride (kudos to BART---the train smelled really normal), a short walk past the sweetly sleeping homeless (they are so cute when they are sleepin'), and a death defying ride up a freakin glass elevator. Serious, Westin St. Francis, you need to have a warning sign outside the elevator because glass aspect of this ride it no immediately evident. Because, you get on and it is not until you are surrounded by 9 luggage toting Spanish tourist that your realise the fucker is see-through! Then another elevator whizzes up in the other direction and is cling to the glass wall and weep softy while the nearest Spanish tourist tries to offer words of encouragement. But WTF, I am not listening to him, he got on an up elevator when he needed to go down. Finally I make to the top only to discover that I am early and have to go back down. Crap! Thanks to the Westin St. Francis employee who told me to look for the clock on a near by building to distract me on the way back down and then back up again.

Once I was safely seated away from the windows. I took some photos of the view. These are the only photos I took all day, so you know they are freakin special...

This is why I am not a photo blogger

Our hostess, the very very pretty Tiffany, not only planned a great conference, but acted our Master of Ceremonies by keeping everybody on track and on time. Did I mention how pretty she looked while doing all this. It was nothing short of amazing. Our speakers included: Jessica Bern of Bernthis, Julie of Angry Julie Monday, Ciaran Blumenfeld from Momfluencial, Jennifer James from MommyBloggerClub, Lindsey Krolik, a cool lawyer(no really) who blogs at Me Too You, Ted Rubin from Open Sky and Kristy Campbell from Kristy Campbell Creative. We learned about vlogging(sounds dirty, but it isn't), privacy protection while blogging, marketing our selves to brands, branding ourselves, not getting sued, Open Sky and how to just write. Okay, that last one was my favorite. Sorry, but I play favorites. I like to write. Not saying I write well, but I do write.

I enjoyed the day. The view was great, the people were great, the presenters were great, the hostess was really pretty and lunch was good, too. We got some sway, cuz what would a conference be without the swag.

The best part was new tribe I formed. It is The We Rode BART Home at 5pm Instead of Having Cocktails Because We Were Tired Tribe. That is kind of a long name, so I don't think we will be able to put that on a t-shirt. We will think of something.

Twitter Made Me Cry Today

For the second time this week the internet has brought me to tears. First there was the quote featured on AOL New about PPD(see yesterday's post).

Today, I thought, that is enough crying, I need some happiness, I need to laugh. So I went to MamaPop for daily dose to celebrity snarky gossip and here is what I found: Jennifer Anniston Uses the R Word on Live TV. Now this story did not make me happy, but at least the person relating what happened seemed to get that what Anniston said was wrong. Then I read the comments. I was shocked. I was shocked that people still don't seem to get that this word is bad. It is a derogatory comment levied against members of our society who have a disability. It is a bad word. It can cause harm. It is wrong to use it. We all seem to get that there are words regarding race and religion which are also derogatory and we seek to verbally slay those who use them, ie: Dr. Lara, Mel Gibson. There are ad campaigns designed to teach people not to use the phrase, 'that is so Gay', but when an advocate for disabled persons calls Jennifer Anniston's comments, “extraordinarily offensive and inappropriate.”, it is suddenly a case of too much PC.

My sister was born with a severe physical disability at a time when this country was not ready to handle or accept people with disabilities. She was called every name in the book for being handicapped. Those words hurt her then and they still haunt her today. We all want to be accepted. We all want to be liked and being called names is harmful and hateful. As long as we allow words like, retard, gimp, gyp, and gay to be used to denoted the negative in every day ways, we will have incidents were these words will be used to cause pain. Why? Because words like these seem harmless when used to denoted silliness, or injury, or oddity, or slyness, but when used otherwise they can cause great pain. When we use them flipantly we give credence to the belief that they are not potentially harmful, but I assure you, to a child who does not quite achieve that which society deems as normal, the word retard is like a slap to the face.

I know this all to well as I recently had to explain to my tearful child what this word meant. His only crime for being made fun of and called this word: being afraid going down a water slide. My son did not understand what the word meant, but he knew that is was horrible and he knew enough to be sad and to ask why. I don't blame the kid who was mean to my son. But I do wonder how that word is being used in his home that he would be able to hurl it so carelessly at another child.

From Darkness to Light

Words cannot express the horror felt by all at the news of a mother purposefully harming her own children. Parents and non-parents alike inhale sharply and cringe in disgust at such a story. Most recently a woman in South Carolina appears to have murdered two of her children in an attempt to be free of those children. Please note she had an older child who was unharmed. I know next to nothing about this story other then what I have shared with you. Not being the strongest of persons when it comes to gruesome news stories, I did to flip to another channel or turn off the TV all together when a story involving a child appears. Seriously, I don't even want to hear the stories that end well. I just want to change the channel, hug my boys and move on with my life.

I was doing just that when I read a blog post about an AOL news statement on this most recent incident. The AOL News story, has been edited since it was originally posted. But here is what a criminal profiler had to say about mother's with post partum depression:

"Most women who suffer depression after their children are born are suffering from post-how-did-I-get-stuck-with-this-kid, this body, this life? They may be depressed, but it is their situation and their psychopathic personality that brings them to kill their children, and not some chemical malfunction."

My first thought was, AOL NEW? WTF? Really, AOL News? After I overcame my shock that AOL would be considered a news source and I re-read the statement again and I cried. Because I like so many women have suffered from PPD.

Immediately after, The Deedle was born I felt fine. He was in the hospital for a while longer than usual because of Hemolytic Disease, but in the end he was fine. It was not until the buzz of a baby and the hospital stay died down that I started to unravel. And that is exactly what it felt like, I was unraveling on seem at a time. I cried too much. I yelled too much. I was not able to sleep. I could not cope with anything. I remember very vividly driving home from a playgroup where one of my friends had said something unkind to me and I literally wanted to drive my car into a wall because I simply could not cope with how I felt. The comment was one if said today would cause me to simply say, fuck you. But at that time and place if almost triggered a tragedy. As I idled at that light feeling like I did not deserve to live the K Man asked a simple question: 'Mommy, can we have chicken stars for lunch?'. I think God everyday that this was all it took to pull be back to reality. This small little question reminded me that I was not alone. Not alone in that car or in this world. That simple question reminded me that no matter what I was feeling, these little people needed me, here. With this realization, I pulled myself together and continued on without further incident.

That day I took my kids to get some Chicken Stars and when we got home I called my OB/GYN and asked for some help. For me that help came in the form of a pill and I ended up taking Zoloft. I slowly weened myself off the Zoloft when the Deedle was about 15 months old and I found that I was able to cope with whatever life had in store for me. But during that preceding 15 months the Zoloft gave me that little something extra that I needed to be cope and this allowed me to be a better mother. I do not know what I would have done if not for that little pill that took me from the darkness to light.

Pourquoi?

Our dear Aunt Becky has posed the question: Why Do You Blog? Never one to shy away from the request from Aunt Becky, I yet again pose this question. Only this time I am asking it in French. Disclaimer: Just to be clear I am not going to answer the question in French. In all fairness this is the only French word that I know other than souffle and moi.

When I first asked this question(in English), this was my response(click on this not to cleverly embedded link). I think that my answer has changed just a bit and I sure as shit hope my writing style has matured a bit (probably not so fucking keep that to yourself). As stated previously, I started this was a way to deal with some wicked PPD that the Deedle brought with him as he slide screaming out of my womb, but over time this blog has become so much more. Well at least to me it has. To my three ardent readers they wish my husband would grind some Prozac into my coffee and be done with it. But to me it is more.

Let's start with my moniker: The Mom. I called myself The Mom because I felt I was getting lost in the tittle, MOM. Please believe me when I say, I love my children, because truly and deeply love these little people. But in choosing to stay at home to raise them I have lost, oh, so very much of my own true identity. I am known not by my given name most of the time, but as The K Man's Mom or the Deedle's Mom. I am now, just the Mom. This blog began as an outlet for a deeply depressed woman, but it has morphed into my attempt to regain my own identity. To be Amy again and not just The Mom. So, I write about the real me and on occasion, my real children and real husband. While I keep our last names and their first names private, I still try and tell the truth about life with them.

Plus I am a proficient smart ass and on occasion people find that amusing, but and this is a BIG BUT:I have not aspiration to richness. I do monetize, but I do so in an effort to pay for whatever expenses this blog has directly incurred. I do not plan on getting rich from this blog or from My Veggie Table. Nor do I want to be a stand up comic or a comedic writer. I actually don't consider myself to be a writer. I am just plain and simple a smart ass, who can on occasion string together two words to make a sentence. I have been a smart ass my entire life and I am just happy to have a format for it.

That in a not so nut shell-y, nut shell is why I blog.

Blistering

"Want to go for drinks before dinner?

"Sure. How about that place across from the restaurant?"

"Nah, let's go further down the street."

"Okay"

Walk, walk, walk, hold hands, talk, talk, talk, hold hands. Cross street, walk, walk, walk.

"Looks like the wine store is changing hands again."

"Good, that guy was an idiot"

"We should check it out again"

"We should. But tonight lets have cocktails."

"Okay, where?"

"I don't know we will find something."

Walk, walk, walk, talk, talk, talk,

"Oh look some sort of street festival. What is going on?"

"A salsa festival? Hmm?"

Walk, walk, walk, no more talking, walk, walk, walk

"I need to go back my feet are hurting. I don't think there are any bars down this way, just dives."

"Really?"

"My feet are really hurting"

"Okay, let's go back."

Walk, walk, walk, no talking, walk, walk, limp, limp, limp.

"Wait, I think my feet are bleeding."

"Do you need to sit down?"

"I think I will be okay, let's just go back down the street closer to the restaurant."

Walk, walk, walk, no more talking, limp, limp, limp, bleeding just a little.

"Okay, I do need to sit down."

"Oh honey, what do you need?"

"Band-aids maybe, but I can't walk anymore. I think I have some in the car"

"I'll go get them for you. If there aren't any there do you want me to go buy some. We have time."

"Sure if you don't mind."

"No, I don't mind." Run, run, run

Sit, sit, sit, wait, wait, wait, tweet, tweet, tweet

"Did you find them?"

"Yes. Here you are."

Band-aid, band-aid, band-aid, ahhhh.

"That is better. Where is the restaurant, exactly?"

"Right there. Now where do you want to go for drinks? How about here?"

"Great, that is right across from the restaurant."

Cocktail, cocktail, cocktail, martini tree, fondue, fondue, fondue....

"My feet feel better now."

"Must have been the Martini Tree."

"Must have been."

And it was a magical day

Nine years ago today my husband and I wed. Thus, the magic began. To follow would be three plus years of wedded bliss. We stayed out late, slept in, drove across country three times, lived in a craptastic apartment to save money and generally had some fun.

Then one day, baby made three.

Thus began a new kind of magic as we stumbled around in the proverbial dark trying to act like we new what the hell we were doing. Luckily for us the K Man was inexperienced enough not to notice.

Then we became the Fabulous Four.

Thus began the magic that is raising two children. By the time that the Deedle came screaming out of my vagina, we thought we had the whole parenting thing down pat. Until we realised we had to do it all while taking care of a baby. Again, the Deedle was too inexperienced to know any better and the K Man had the good sense to keep his mouth shut.

It's My Birthday, Too!

I am turning 39 today. Don't let the rumors (that I started) about me being 29 fool you. I am in fact a 39 year old person. Honestly, not sure how I feel about this one. I liked 33 a lot! And 36 was good as well. But I am thinking that 39 might be a real kick in the ass. Because you know what comes after 39, dontcha? That is right 39 1/2 comes after 39, but eventually comes 40. As must as I loathe to admit it the thought to turning 40 bothers me.

I am getting older. Things hurt that have never hurt before. I am getting more and more platinum hairs every day. My skin in changing and my butt is sagging and soon I will just dry up and blow away. But before that happens I think I still have a little life left in me. So, this year for my birthday I am going to do something I have never really done before, EVER. I am going to do something for myself. I have always made concessions for others. I did what my parents wanted me to do (up to a point as they never expected me to marry and leave their home). I made concessions based on my sister's health and wellbeing. My life currently revolves almost exclusively around my husband and children. So here is what I am doing.

First thing I am doing is I am going to a small blogging conference in about two weeks. The badge is over there >>>>> somewhere. It is the Bloggy Boot Camp which is being put on by the Secret is in the Sauce girls. And I am staying over in San Francisco for the event! Hah, take that 39!

Second thing I am doing is going to a spa for the day and getting some spa-ish shit done to my body. I don't really care what as long the day at some point involves a fluffy robe. Not sure where to when I doing this, but it is certainly happening. In you face, 40's right around the corner!

HomeHer10:Chock Full of Hashtaggy Goodness

From humble beginnings often come great things and #HomeHer10 is no exception. This cinderella story started in the kitchen of blogger turned Peeping Tom/Peach Canner (not nearly as dirty as it sounds), Backingpacking Dad. From these humble peach canning beginnings was born the real awesomeness that is #HomeHer10. It is the Real Broke, Sick, Pregnant or Whatever People's Party. That's right, this is the twitter/blogger conference for those too broke, too sick, too pregnant or too anything else to go to BlogHer10!

We now have our own logo made by Toni



We have our own Twibbon: for those without the Twitter induced speech impediment, a Twibbon is a ribbon to go on your Twitter picture.


We have out own shirts
http://www.customink.com/designs/homeher10/mct0-000f-a0gh/hotlink?cm_mmc=hotlink-_-1-_-Body_txt-_-link1


We have giveways from the following(these are the ones I could find while writing this, please check the #HomeHer10 for more):
CBS Mom: Lunch
4 Baby and Mom: School Supplies
Eye Lash Stuff

No, we did not make it onto the Today Show. No, we did not get to use the bathroom where The Bloggess was hiding. But Holy Fuck-Balls Mary we are having some real fun! We are still meeting new people and if might even still win some shit. Join the fun, your know you want to. #HomeHer10

Joy

“This post is part of SOYJOY‘s: What brings you joy contest. Learn more here.”
What brings me joy are the simple moments in time which I encounter on an almost daily basis. They are sights, sounds and smells. They are heart-achingly fleeting. In a word, they are temporary and I wish that I could capture each and every one of these moments forever with the blink of my eyes. My joys are:

Homemade cookies

The sound of my children playing as brother, but becoming friends
The cat warm from the sun
My children winding wonder in the world.

They won’t last forever, these moments. I can do my best to remember. I can take many, many photos, but in the end away they will go. Boys become men and good pets become beloved memories, but mom will do her best to remember each and every moment that brought her infinite joy.

Like a Poke in the Eye: 3D

Last weekend I took the K-Man to see Despicable Me. He had seen the preview when we went to see Toy Story 3 for his birthday and it looked cute, so we went. While we have hit the big kids movies this Summer season, what we have not seen is any movie in 3D. But it seems that so many movies are offered in a 3D version now a days, Toy Story 3, Despicable Me, Avatar, Step it Up 3D, The Jonas Bros Experience, etc. It makes me wonder what movies should have been in 3D, but where not. Here is a list of movies that I think would have benefited from a little 3D action.

• Titanic: Imagine the stirring strains of Celine Dion's unforgettable, "Our Love Will Go On." as Leo's rock solid frozen corpse bobbed up and down DIRECTLY in front of you face. Not the mention the laugh riot of helpless Irish immigrants falling off the side of that metal leviathan know simply as The Titanic.
• Thelma and Louise: Who feels cheated that they did not get to see a younger very, very muy caliente Brad Pitt dance around half naked in 3D. Think of the pelvic thrusting action on that one. Also, that final over the edge scene would have meant so much more if we had been able to see the car hang there for a just a minute before our very eyes. Don't you want to just reach out and try and touch Thelma's face.
• Fargo: Wood Chipper, Steve Buscemi, 3D. Need I say more!
• Napoleon Dynamite: Okay just the last 3 minutes because we need to see bridal LaFawnduh in 3D. Oh yes we do!
• Apocalypse Now: I love the smell of napalm in the morning! It smells like victory. Just imagine that right in your face and now imagine an aging, crazy, fat Marlon Brando RIGHT. IN. YOUR. FACE. Stop gagging and take it like a man.
  

Word Play-revisited

Okay it has been a while since we had any Word Play and I thought it would be fun to revisit and bask in the glow of our Word Play. You might remember my original Word Play rant against the Most Annoying Word poll on Yahoo last Oct that really mostly contained phrases and not stand alone words. This solo rant was soon follow up by two more about words I like and words that sound dirty, but are not really dirty. Well here I am back in the vault (now there is a phrase which sounds dirtier than it actually is).

Todays Word Play involves words or phrases I probably should not have said in front of my children. Luckily my boys know how to practise some discretion and thankfully so far was is said in the car has not left the car. This is probably only because they are huge music lovers, so they are too busy repeating the lyrics to Traffic and Charlatans songs (we live in a child music free zone).

• Fucktard: as in, "Does that stupid fucktard not see that I am trying to parallel park!"
• Asshat: as in, "That asshat put whole milk in latte on purpose!" (file that under a first world only problem).
• Durr: as in, "Well durr, of course I know how to get to your house. You like in Dublin, right? No. You moved. When? Last year. Wow. Okay, so how do I get to your house, again?"
• Stupid Cat: as in, " AHHHHHHH!(crash, smack, crunch) Stupid cat!"
• Shut your Pie Hole: as in, "Shut your pie hole, you stupid cat. I'll feed you in a minute."
• Craptastic: as in, "Wow, Fly Me to the Moon was one craptastic masterpiece"
• Christ on a Cracker: as in, "Christ on Cracker, Deedle! Get down from the top of the elephant exhibit."