Stupid Head

Over the course of the last year I have come to the conclusion that my body is trying to kill me. Specifically I think that my reproductive organs have decided to drive me to off the deep end one arduous menstrual cycle at a time. Right off the bat, let me explain my uterus has long been a manipulative bitch. She causes trouble and draws unwanted attention to herself until she gets what she wants, which is usually vicodin or chocolate or vicodin covered strawberries dipped in chocolate. Regardless she always gets what she fucking wants while my lungs and feet are just drug along for the ride, helpless victims to her every whim and fancy. Of course my ovaries are her primary facilitator in this long drawn out co-dependent relationship. Again me and the rest of my body parts are just along for the fucking ride, unable to get off this hormonal express.

Recently my uterus has stepped up her assault by soliciting my head in her plot to bring about my downfall. Every month without fail I suffer from PMS induced migraines and this month for the first time I am joylessly experiencing DM (d is for during) migraines. Basically I am walking ball of pain and barfiness. If not for my actual need of a head I would cut the damn thing off. Off it would roll and a brief moment I would feel no more head pain, but then I would remember that I no longer had a head and I would probably be pissed off.

I would gladly rip the whole system out, but my doctor has these things called morals and she will not just take out healthy body parts. Stupid morals. Stupid head. Stupid uterus.