For those who have been stopping by since the beginning and are not looking for images of the big ass-ed woman or for images of ass traffic (shudder~shudder), you know that I have been struggling with my weight for some time. Over the last six years since I got pregnant with the K-Man I have gained more weight than I care to admit and I lost the same 8 pounds over and over and over and over again in the time as well. Sadly my efforts were continually stymied by depression, pregnancy and a series of co-dependent "friendships" which revolved around eating, drinking and little else.
On my 39th birthday I really hit rock bottom. For the first time in 5 years I spent that birthday with just my family. It was a very depressing proposition that save for perfunctory Facebook Happy Birthdays, my birthday went completely unnoticed by the group of friends I had once been so close to. There was no dinner with friends, no celebration with friends, no movie with friends. Oh wait, there was one card that made fun of my general appearance, but I was not even sure that was for my birthday. I think it was just to cause pain and confusion. Anyway, as the day approached I waited in dread. I ate, I cried, and I moped around the house. I was general pain in the ass to live with. Then the day came and it dawned on me that none of that other stuff matter, none of those other people mattered. The only people I really needed to worry about were right where they belonged, they were at my side. On the day, that I turned 39, I decided to change some things with myself. Because no matter how hard I try I cannot change anyone else. I cannot make people be nice. I cannot make people be honest with me. I cannot make anyone do anything. Okay, I can make the Deedle do some things, but even those days are numbered.
So, I decided to start treating myself better. I decided to start eating right and exercising and soon the depression went away. I decided that at 39 I was happy with the family I had and the thought/threat of future pregnancies went away. I decided that I would no longer participate in social situations which are solely about food and soon the rest of the pain went away. And a new stronger me began to emerge.
Here is what I once looked like:
This was from some time last fall and it was probably one of the few full body photos taken of me.
This is from right before October. This was two months after I begin using myfitnesspal.com to track my food and workouts. I joined MFP on August 29th and in that time I have dropped 19.5 pounds. I have exercised every day no matter what. I have exercised with a migraine. I have exercised after a nasty fall. I have exercised through minor injuries (non-falling variety). I have exercised the day of and the day after surgery. I have exercised while sick with a stomach bug and while battling a bad cold. I have exercised over 75 days in a row and I have honestly not felt this strong and healthy since moving back to California in 2005.
4 comments:
You look terrific!!
Congratulations, and keep up the good work!
You look amazing Amy! You should be so proud! (And I don't mean this in a you never looked good before way either :-) hehe)
Wow I'm seriously impressed you go girl. That is an amazing change. Keep up the good work.
You are so fortunate to have had this revelation at only 39 years old. What a difference it will make in your
attitude throughout the many wonderful years to come.
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