Go Fingle Yourself!

It has recently come to my attention that the corn growers association is seeking to rename High Fructose Corn Syrup. They want it known by the gentler more user friendly term: Corn Sugar. Now, doesn't that sound nice. What could be more pure than sugar? Actually sugar is not the pure considering it starts as either a piece of cane, which is then cut down and processed to hell and back until it a white grain. Basically if sugar is pure than Paris Hilton is a virgin who really thought that was some gum in her purse. The worst part is that they have the power and money to get it done. They will probably get a new name and we will go on eating that crap for years to come.

If you read my blog (thanks to the three of you----love you lots) you know that I have had some issues with the 'level of profanity' on my blog. You see I am too smutty for advertisers and apparently just smutty enough for PSA. Go figure, Celiac Disease has no issue with the F-word on my blog, but Nestles does. It would seem however the the opposite applies for F-bomb dropping bloggers who actually have traffic as their blogs seem to run lots of name brand ads and nary a PSA. Weird, right? I was still stewing over this information when I learned about the whole renaming for HFCS.

Then it hits me (insert chorus of angels singing). I should just rename the word FUCK. It will take a while before anyone realises that I am still saying FUCK and by that time they will still be eating it up. Seriously, I am a genius. An evil genius, but a genius nonetheless. Therefore effective immediately the word FUCK will now be called, Fingle. I am going to down to the motherfingling trademark office get this fingler registered. If you don't like it you can go fingle yourself.