Dear Lindsay Lohan: shut up, please

Well, at least for some of us it would be. Seriously you mean I would not have to cook a meal, clean a kitchen or wipe an ass. Are you freaking kidding me? I would not setting in around chewing my nails down to the nubs over this one. I would be jumping up and down in front of the jail begging to start that shit early like it Christmas where I got my pink huffy.

All kidding aside I know that jail for the regular folk must really suck syphilitic donkey dick, but for the Hollywood set such as Lindsay and Paris...not so much. Sure they cannot twitter or shop or take crack. Okay, they can probably get some crack, but I don't think your can twitter or shop in jail. Here is what Lindsay has to deal with, an 12x8 foot cell which is larger then my last dorm room and I had to pay for that. Her room contains a bunk bed, a sink, a toilet, a table and a window with a 'bad view'. Again save for the toilet and sink this was my last dorm room. Only in my last dorm room I had to deal with drug addled roommate who like to get high and have sex in the bathtub with a rotating group of equally high guys. So, I am thinking that I would have preferred the toilet in the room. Lindsay will get to take a shower every other day. I think I last time I showered regularly was in the Summer of 2005. She gets to exercise three times a week. Well that has to be blow to Lindsay as she lost all that weight by exercising regularly....exercising her ability to get her hands on coke and adderall. But for those of use with the childrens might think this is not so bad.

So two weeks of not having to talk to anyone. Two weeks of not having to deal with children and husbands. Two weeks of not having to run in five different directs during the day to get everyone, including the cat to were the need to go. Two week so of no cleaning, no cooking. Two weeks of not having to keep track to who has and who has not pooped. Two week of getting to shit without someone banging on the door (okay that one might still happen in jail). Two weeks of sleeping ALONE with out a tiny foot smacking you in the back every ten seconds. Hell, two weeks of sleeping more than 4 hours at a time. And that is IF she stays for two weeks of her 90 day sentence. She could stay fewer days then that.